Thursday, July 3, 2014

more, more, more?

Is there some activity that I would love for my family and friends to do with me more often? For me to answer that honestly, I would have to put myself into that category of the family or friend, as my OCD in itself prevents me from doing a lot of things. I would love to spend more time outside. Not in that going-hiking way, but in a relaxing-enjoying-the-sun-and-watching-the-neighborhood-pass-by kind of way. I was literally just thinking this morning about how I miss being so carefree, the carefree that you don't realize you possess until there is no trace of it left within. It is torture to remember being able to just get ready (without a preparation of battling germs ahead), grabbing my keys, and spending the day doing anything without germ awareness running on a constant loop throughout my mind, and then showering at the end of my day without feeling the need to shower so intensely to rid my body of all the germs I was sure to have encountered. I think for me, I wouldn't specifically say there is an activity I wish loved ones would do more with me, I would change it to I wish I could relish in the normalness of everyday life more thoroughly with my family and friends without my unwanted companion rattling on in my mind.

*This was written in response to a prompt at The One-Minute Writer.

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