Sunday, February 1, 2015

Dear January,

Now that you have passed and are slowly fading away into the distance, I thought I might address you. I am beginning to wonder if you are bad luck, as some of my worst moments have occurred during the month of January. In 2011, my oldest daughter was hospitalized for a week, which was so heartbreaking for our family, especially for her. Last year her inflammation markers were so high that it sparked her second colonoscopy at age 11. This year, once again, her inflammation markers are still high, landing her a prescription for steroids. There isn't much more to say about this other than just putting it out there. How about we plan for something absolutely amazing to happen in January next year, shall we?
Aside from all of those emotional ponderings, I have been enjoying writing on my blog so far this year, which feels like I have somehow found a piece of myself that has been lost in the fog of life. I love sitting down and just writing about whatever comes to my mind. I am also feeling incredibly blessed to have been able to get so many free books for our entire family from the base library that has closed. Even though I initially found it frustrating that the books were scattered everywhere across the floor, I have discovered that was exactly what I need in the book world. I realized that I needed all of those books with their covers in my face. It got me truly looking at books and choosing ones that I wouldn't have normally pulled off the shelf. I believe it has even helped lead me to a new genre or type of books that makes me excited about reading again...finally! I think sometimes we change and grow with life, finding that we don't fully understand who we are anymore, and it takes something random and so out of the box to lead us to our own discovery. This is quite an important discovery for me, as books have been a love of mine my entire life. I was a bit lost browsing through bookstores and libraries never finding something that caught my attention, always setting every book aside within the first few chapters, disappointed. It is a bit depressing when you discover something you have loved for so long no longer suites your life. 
I have also made a few self discoveries within the area of energy work that I do. Some opportunities unfolded that put me in a place to really think about where I wanted to stand. This process allowed me to filter through questions and doubts and realize that I was right where I needed to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. It is nice to know.
Even though I feel hugely disappointed and saddened to have to give my oldest daughter 3 neon pink steroid pills every morning, there were some amazing things that happened this month. Hopefully this will be the start of a great year. Hopefully my oldest's inflammation markers will rapidly go down and stay down, hopefully I will be reading a lot more books, and hopefully I will continue to enjoy blogging about whatever resides in my mind. I am seeking out good health and peace within our family this year, bring on February! 

Always,
Me

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about your daughter's inflammation! I will definitely be praying for her.

    I love what you said in this post about self-discovery and the power of books! I agree completely.

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