Wednesday, February 11, 2015

mediums

I am not sure if I have been super clear on explaining things related to my psychic abilities on this blog. I did at one point decide I would open up about that more, then chickened out and deleted it all! But I do have psychic abilities. I generally tend to focus more on those abilities that are related to understanding energy and doing what I refer to as energy work to help others, such as helping to relieve pain in my daughter's arm so that she doesn't feel the IV being inserted during her Remicade infusions. That is what you will mostly find me discussing if I ever do share anything. That is where I am most confident. However, every now and then a different ability will surface, which happened recently. I had an encounter with a beautiful young teen who had lost her battle with cancer last week, and I was asked to relay a message to her loved ones. I was completely filled with anxiety about this task, as I did not personally know anything about this family and I wasn't sure how the message would be received coming from a stranger. I did not want to be a person that would cause more grief for this family during such a difficult time. I finally was able to make good on my promise, and was so relieved when the message was taken in a positive way. I don't know how people like Theresa Caputo can do that on a daily basis. I am not sure if it is confidence I lack in that specific area, social anxiety, or just selfishness, wondering what people will think of me, but it is definitely a challenge for me. I am sure my OCD plays a big part in what makes me avoid these types of interactions outside of the realm of my own loved ones who have passed. I constantly find myself second guessing what is actually happening, questioning the honesty of who is approaching me, questioning my interpretation and understanding of the information, questioning my ability as a whole. Sometimes with OCD, a thought will swiftly enter your mind, a simple thought created in the moment of doubt or worry, that grows and grows, planting itself in the forefront of your thinking so that it cannot be ignored or released. Stuck. Just repeating itself over and over again, until you find yourself so confused and filled with doubt that you are ready to back out of whatever you were initially trying to do.
But this has all been on my mind for several days as I was trying to find my own bravery to contact this family. I am glad I did it, very glad I was able to help give that family a small bit of comfort during such a hard time. Glad I was able to help out that young girl. But whenever something like this happens I find myself reflecting on the bravery that other honest mediums have that try to spread awareness of loved ones and bringing comfort to many families. There are some amazing people in this world!

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