She stands still, raising her arms as the winds pick up, flailing her tousled and knotted hair behind her. Her lips part as a slur of words spill from her mouth, guttural and deep. Her skin is pale as dusk, her eyes ablaze with the color of fire as her words filter out and around the forest. The trees twist and turn, startled. Leaves begin to shake with the impact, rattling their warning for all who might hear. Branches snap; broken pieces falling to the earth. Birds scream as they flee her presence, desperate to escape. Then all is silent.
Written by K, Copyright 2013
'Pale as dusk' gave me pause: usually dusk or 'dusky' refers to a dark color, as in a 'dusky eye' in makeup. I assume after consideration that you mean the lack of color that happens at dusk, but it was still a bit confusing.
ReplyDeleteI like the description of spell-casting, very visceral and elemental.
LOL. I get what you are saying. In my minds eye I was envisioning the envieonment as a whole at dusk...that ominous pale glow that falls over everything at dusk from the moon. Her skin has that iminous pale glow like dusk. I suppose with an explanation needed, it didnt get my vision across to you as the reader.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind's eye, I saw her drained of color as often happens when the light is fading from the sky. I love the piece - descriptive of her power - but it would be good to know to what end.
ReplyDeleteThat is basically what I was going for Lou. Glad someone got it! LOL. And as for to what end? 100 words does not allow for that! I too wouldnt mind knowing. But in all honesty I love the snippets that leave the readers wondering what comes next , even if there isnt really a next!
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