memories of crocheted blankets

Over Christmas break I have decided to crochet a niece of ours a baby blanket. She recently found out she is pregnant, and what better gift that a handcrafted warm blanket for the new little one? If you know me, you have already heard me ramble on about how I despise crocheting blankets. They are long projects that I just don't have the patience for. I have literally made only 2 blankets in my crocheting history (which is approximately 13 years), and both blankets were baby blankets, one for each of my own daughters. So, I have been working on this blanket daily, and most times I am thinking to myself....why did I start this again? Not because I don't want to make our niece a beautiful gift to show our support, but because, it is a blanket that seems to take forever. Aside from that, I have also been reminiscing about the other 2 blankets I made. It is strange how our mind can associate certain things to a specific memory, one that floods over you so strongly. I remember crocheting my first blanket, which was actually my very first crochet project ever, how I even learned to crochet. I remember trying to get it all just right, working with the soft pastel colors (pink, green, blue, yellow), and how it felt having my large baby belly while I did so. The memory makes me smile. It is just one of those things, as a mother, that will always warm my heart to know that I took the time to create something special like that for each of my daughters. That I was putting myself into something for them before they were even born. It is kind of symbolic of a mother's love really, a mother knitting, crocheting, or sewing baby booties, blankets, or hats. It is that first initial gesture so many moms make to express their budding, long-lasting love for their child. Not just for myself, but for all the mothers that take part in something similar, it is really a precious thing. I am finding it quite a blessing to be thinking about every time I pull out my niece's baby blanket to work on. If you have any children, did you crochet or knit your children something before they were born? Or did you do something completely different that expressed your love prior to their birth? Do these memories bring forth any emotion for you?

start

The One-Minute Writer gave the word prompt "start" today. I think it fits pretty appropriately for the beginning week of the new year. I think it immediately puts ones mind to thinking about what they want to start doing, not doing, or being this year. For me that is without a doubt, journaling. I mentioned in a previous post that I really struggled this December trying to understand what I wanted or needed to start in 2015 that would help me. I kept thinking in the back of my mind that I just wanted to focus on writing. This was extremely frustrating for me, as I had no desire to dig into poetic writing, stories, flash fiction, or anything of the kind. So than why was I consistently feeling I needed to focus on writing? It made no sense to me. Throughout my life I have mainly seen writing as a creative process, with a finished piece in the end. There is a ton of poetry, short stories, and flash fiction works here on this blog to prove it! Once I started to ponder the idea of simply just focusing on journaling, it started to make more sense for me. I have started journaling (or blogging) this week, creating new topics or memes for myself (to keep dedicated), and I am already seeing the wonderful changes it is producing within myself. I think over the past several years, I haven't felt like I had a place in my life to share my thoughts on topics that seem to haunt my mind. I did, of course, through my poetry during certain times, however my messages were always received much differently by readers (which is, of course, the nature of poetry), but that left me feeling unheard in many ways. On top of that, I am a deeply sensitive person emotionally, am a person that is also sensitive to energies, and an empathy on some level (that I choose not to explore further to help separate myself). All of these things tend to have me swarming with thoughts and emotions that I struggle with releasing, which causes a lot of strife within. So, this year, I will start journaling to help clear myself and to put my mind and body in a better place.

2014 Tag

I am still a little in that stage of reminiscing about the previous year, and thinking about the new. I discovered this tag on Yet Another Perdiod Drama, and thought I would ponder these questions a bit:

What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
I had a blast in Florida. We have been to Disney World once before, but this second family vacation there this past summer was AMAZING. I enjoyed the first visit several years ago, but I think with my daughters a little older, it allows me as the mother to enjoy what is happening around me a little more, as opposed to be focusing so much on helping them with every little thing. I was able to just simply have fun with both my daughters and my husband. One of my favorite all time moments...that lasted a week!

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make one this year?

Disney's Frozen

Frozen. It seems to be the movie of the year, at least in every child's mind, which means it infiltrates the lives of all the adults of the world as well. I was so excited when I realized this movie was about the ice queen, which was basically when I was seated in the movie theater watching it for the first time. I am a lover of fairy tales, and the ice queen fascinates me. I absolutely love that this movie's theme that tops all others (for me at least) is sisterly love and loyalty. What a great value to instill within families! Anna stood by her sister no matter what, stuck up for her no matter who was against her (was there anyone that wasn't against her?), and tried her very hardest to help her sister as best she could. That is 100% what family is about. That kind of love trumps all others and never seems to fade, even when Elsa refuses Anna's help, Anna is still there to save Elsa's life, without hesitation. Olaf was cute and funny, comic relief amidst the serious undertones of the film. Kristoff was my favorite character in the film. Lonely, sarcastic, quirky. I mean, he talks for his reindeer, how do you not love that? He did not, however, beat my love for Flynn Rider, my all time favorite male Disney character from their animated films.  Kristoff did come in very close though! All of these things, along with the fun songs (that I have heard on repeat in my house for the past several weeks) is what makes this movie great for me. Now, even though I have all of these wonderful things to say about the film, there is a lot about this movie that bothers me. First off, I just cannot wrap my head around how this movie has taken off to such heights as it has, when compared to Disney's other animated movies released in the past several years. How is this movie better than Tangled? For me, there is a lot wrong with this movie that bothers me that seems to be overlooked by so many. Here it goes:

I knew she didn't kill Abe

She looked up, and her blue eyes locked on to mine. They held confusion and fear. "I didn't kill him!" she gasped. "You have to believe me!"

This is from The One-Minute Writer, prompting readers to finish this story:

 

     I knew she didn't kill Abe. Even though I could see in her eyes that she deeply believed she did, I knew she didn't. Even Abe knew she didn't. I was amazed I was able to refrain from rolling my eyes.

     I assured her that everything would be okay, that I would take care of the "mess", and ushered out of the apartment. I stood over Abe in pure disgust, taking in all the blood mixed among the dinner half prepared. An accident in the kitchen, of course.

     I kicked him fiercely in the side as he began to stir. I reached down and pulled out the knife that was embedded in his chest, watching the wound heal before my eyes.

     His eyes popped open as he leapt to his feet, brushing pieces of carrots and broccoli from his suite jacket.

     "Your death? That is how you break up with her?" I asked incredulously. Not that I am at all surprised.

     "Eh, she was a bit on the crazy side, it was bound to happen at some point," Abe playfully grinned from ear to ear, revealing the fangs he managed to keep hidden from her for the past four months.

     I turned to walk out the door wondering why I even agreed to stop by.
     "You gonna leave me to clean this up myself?" He asked in a panic.

     "Yep, and you might want to hurry before she returns and finds your love rekindled."

top ten bookish goals for 2015

I came across this meme from The Broke and the Bookish, and even though books are not my main new years resolution, I thought I would ponder on this and see what I come up with, which is really more of just my dream book desires for this year. 

1. I would love to find a new series I can just dive into, one that thoroughly captivates me. That is my goal continuously when it comes to books, as I know my reading tastes have changed over the past several years, and grown into something I don't fully understand.
2. I would love to pick a book that I just adore, have since my first reading, and just decide to collect beautiful copies that I find. I am a book hoarder, buyer, lover, and with my difficulty in understanding what genres and types of books that really pull me in now days, it becomes a bit of a problem!
3. I would love to actually start writing a book! I have been wanting to do this, more novel writing, which was my main New Years resolution. I have had a few stories rolling around in my head for sometime, but just haven't yet pinpointed what exactly I want to put the pen to paper for. I know, I just need to do it.
4. Utilize the library more. I tend to go straight for buying books, loving that feeling of it being mine, like it helps you to connect with the book on a more intimate level, as opposed to returning the book to someone else when you've finished reading it.
5. Continue to keep my daughters reading. I have been keeping up with their interests and trying to place books in front of them that they would enjoy. I got my youngest the Percy Jackson series, and my oldest the Harry Potter series for Christmas. I love sharing book talk with them, too.
6. Visit our local bookstore more. We really don't have a decent bookstore in town, just a small one, mainly used books. I need to take the time to explore in that store more often and discover the hidden gems that would otherwise go unknown to me.
7. I want to incorporate new reading rituals. Take a book outside more often in the summer, have reading picnics with my daughter, and just make reading more fun!
8. I would love to (though I know it wont happen) be less OCD about my books so that I can actually take them with me to my oldest daughter's remicade infusions at the children's hospital. I would love to not have the feeling that I need to keep them pristine and free of all possible germs.
9. I want to find a new favorite book this year.
10. I want to be dedicated in my newly purchased Jane-A-Day 5 Year Journal (filled with daily Jane Austen quotes).

re-vamping my blog and New Year resolutions

I've been thinking long and hard throughout the month of December, trying to come up with a new year's resolution. I am a big fan of trying to build up self improvements or setting goals with my children, mainly to instill the idea and thoughts about always bettering who we are as a person. Whether that means learning a new skill, becoming better in a skill we already know, working on a personal flaw or bad habit, or to simply be more mindful of the blessings in our life. I think it is important to know that we can have an impact on how our year will go, even if just a small one. It starts one out with a fresh, optimistic view, and can get one excited for what is to come, mixed amongst all the monotonous days before.
With all that said, I could not come up with a new year's resolution for myself, which I found to be slightly depressing. The only thing I could think of that I had an inner desire to do, was to write more. However, I could not come up with anything that I wanted to write about. I am sure most of this un-excitement stems from continual coming and going phases of depression that tends to glide in unexpectedly. It sets in with a huge distaste for just about any hobby I genuinely love at other times, and leaves me simply un-excited about anything. This was a bit of a double whammy with it being New Years and all.
As I was browsing online, purchasing a couple of things for my daughters to help with their resolutions, such as a book to further my oldest's Rainbowloom talents and some Perler Beads to re-instate my youngest's long lost creativity in that arena, I stumbled upon 5 year journals. I had never heard of these prior. Well, actually I heard about them in a youtube video on a channel I watch regularly, and had no idea what a 5 year journal was. So I did a search on Amazon. As I browsed through them, I become more intrigued and interested in starting on this endeavor. I chose a beautiful Jane Austen themed 5 year journal that displays a Jane Austen quote for each day of the year. I think that I just simply need to focus on journaling. I am a highly sensitive person, who tends to constantly be pondering and thinking about something, about everything. So, I will be journaling, or blogging on here more frequently, about whatever my mind is taken with, along with being diligent about writing a small memory each day in my new beautiful journal.....for the next 5 years! That journal is quite a dedication that I hope I can live up to!